Plot Bunnies and Sharks
by Saamon-sama
Summary: Unfinished one-shots revolving around an unlikely couple. Set in various universes. Chapters are open for adoption. 1: Ino follows Hinata in the hopes of meeting Sasuke's big brother.


**Title:** Of Rumors

 **Setting:** Public university AU - kind of

 **Summary:** Rumor has it that Sasuke's big brother has moved into Hinata's neighborhood. Ino asks to tag along with her gentle friend to visit and finds herself regretting very, very much.

...

* * *

Hyūga Hinata was not a gossip. In fact, the last time someone (one of Ino's followers) had shared gossip with Hinata, it had been the rumor about how the advanced calculus professor's nephew had popped Hanabi's _cherry._

No, Hinata had not chased the boy down and threatened to jyuuken him to kingdom come. Hinata, who didn't actually know Konohamaru, had gently questioned Hanabi the next time she and Neji had returned to the family home to visit. Neji, (who was a master of their family's martial art and _did_ know of Namikaze Naruto's number one fan) had overheard and been the one to chase the boy down and threaten to jyuuken him to kingdom come, followed by a repeat performance on the calculus professor to _get_ _a_ _reign on his nephew._

The rumor had turned out to be false. Hanabi hadn't even interacted with the _(annoying!)_ kid since sixth grade.

Regardless, Ino had learned a valuable lesson from that. Her followers were to be taught to stay far, far away from anything related to white eyes. Social connections were not to be underestimated. For instead of suing the Hyūga, Asuma had taken Ino aside to tell her he would let Guy, the track coach and head of the athletics department, know of her interest in _joining_ his team for the _Olympic tryouts._

That's right, her beloved unofficial uncle had _threatened_ her.

But alas! There was fresh fodder on the gossip mill this past week, and surely it would be safe to ask Hinata if she knew anything. After all, It was related to black eyes that turned red when emotional, not white eyes that became veiny whenever they damn well pleased.

And any information she could get on Sasuke-kun's sexy big brother was worth the risk. And since Sasuke wasn't relenting info, and Forehead was too chicken to ask him herself, Ino had to turn to Hinata. This was only because Ino's most reliable sources said Itachi had moved into Hinata's neighborhood near the university.

With that thought, Ino raised her hand to knock on her gentle friend's door, fervently hoping neither of the Hyūga's overprotective housemates would be the one to answer.

* * *

Carefully, Hinata tilted the giant pot to let the boiling water pour down the sink drain. A scruffy head leaned over her shoulder, curiosity radiating from their every pore.

"K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata scolded, though her tone was lightened with a smile. "At least wait for me to set the pot back down!"

Kiba leaned back on the kitchen counter, single fang peaking out as he frowned. "I thought you hated seafood, Hinata."

"I don't hate seafood Kiba-kun." Deeming the pot empty enough, Hinata set it back on the stove, sans flame. "I just don't like shrimp or crab."

"Right, shrimp and crab. You mean the shrimp that's sitting in this tupperware right next to me and the crab that you're currently pulling out of that pot, right?"

"It's not for me, Kiba-kun," she giggled. Kiba only frowned further.

"Not that you're not a great cook Hinata, you're the best really, but Shino and I don't much care for those either."

"I know that," Hinata smiled, packing the boiled crabs into a large container. "This is for our new neighbors!"

"Eh? you don't mea-" He was cut off by knocking at the door, followed by the deep barks of his great Pyrenees. "AKAMARU! I'M TALKING HERE!"

"Can you get that please, Kiba-kun?"

"Yeah, yeah. On it. Sit, Akamaru."

Hinata hummed, checking to make sure she'd completely sealed the boiled arthropods in their respective tupperwares.

"I told you already, dog breath! I'm just here to ask Hinata-chan a few questions!" Oh, Hinata knew that voice!

"And I said that I'm not letting you rope Hinata into your annoying gossip ring!" Hinata poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Ino-chan! Good afternoon!"

"Hina-chan!" Hinata smiled at Kiba.

"It's okay Kiba-kun. Y-you can let Ino-chan in."

"Tch."

* * *

Ino coughed, finding herself hacking in a very unladylike manner as her throat betrayed her and sent water down the wrong pipe. With all her might, Ino willed herself not to spit on the luxury couches that were paid for with Hyūga and Aburame money.

"I-Ino-chan! Are you al-" Ino raised her hand, carefully sucking in air.

"You, " she gasped. "You're related to Sasuke-kun's family?" Her voice came out a little shrill at the end.

Kiba cut in, his face incredulous, "What? You didn't know? They're like, distant cousins going back to the same great-great-great-great grandmother or something!"

"Kiba-kun."

"What? This isn't exactly hidden knowledge, Hinata. Anyone with access to the internet or a library can find this out! You'd think with an army of spies that Yamanaka would at least know that."

"Wha-"

"Th-that is true... But, Ino-chan, what was it you wanted to ask me about cousin Itachi?"

 _Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shit. They were family!_ Ino began questioning if asking Hinata anything really wasn't risky or not.

"Ino-chan?"

Ino drained the rest of the water in her cup. Thankfully, she didn't choke this time.

Kiba sighed. "Anyway, Hinata. Shouldn't you be going? Not that I care, but all that food you made is gonna get cold."

Hinata stood up. "Ah, you're right!" Apologetically, Hinata turned back to Ino. "I'm sorry, Ino-chan. I'm bringing a welcome gift to our new neighbors. M-maybe next time?" She turned to look at Akamaru, then back to Kiba.

Smiling, Kiba stood up. "Let me guess, need some help?" He flexed his right arm.

Hinata giggled. "Just Akamaru will be fine, Kiba-kun. Shino-kun's expecting you to meet him soon, remember?"

Hanging his head, Kiba let out a sigh of a thousand souls. "Maaaaahh, I was hoping you'd forget about that. Last time I helped him move his damn beehives I got stung!"

Curious, Ino popped back into the conversation. "Shino-san's beehives?"

Hinata nodded, smiling. "Shino-kun doesn't usually need help, but when his father's busy, Kiba-kun helps and gets paid in honey." At the mention of honey, Akamaru barked. Kiba grinned and ruffled his dog's fur.

"The things I do for you, boy."

As Kiba harnessed Akamaru up, Ino turned to Hinata.

"You mentioned new neighbors... You wouldn't happen to mean Itachi-san, would you?"

Hinata blinked. "Hrmm, well Itachi-san does live there, but this is for his housemate actually."

 _Housemate? Oh no! Did he already have a lover? Of all the rumors..._ Ino needed to investigate this!" Can...Can I come with you, Hina-chan?

Hinata, ever the innocent, smiled happily. "Of course! Th-they have a dog as big as Akamaru-kun too, and he's a beautiful sight!" Kiba popped his head through the front door, truck keys jangling in his hand.

"Akamaru's all loaded up, Hinata! I'm off to go meet up with bug boy now."

"Thank you Kiba-kun! Tell Shino-kun I said hi, okay?"

He smiled, showing off jagged canines. "Yeah! Later, Ino."

"Have fun!" She sang.

* * *

Absentmindedly, Hinata threaded her fingers through Akamaru's white fur as they stopped before an iron gate. Ino blinked at the reinforced steel. The house itself looked normal enough, concrete and clearly similar to Hinata's own shared two-story. It was smaller, but the large front yard more than made up for it. Hinata opened the gate, the tinkling of bells seeming to catch Ino off-guard as she noticed the Beware of Dog sign.

"Hinata-chan, is it really okay to just... walk in?" Letting Akamaru in first, Hinata smiled in amusement.

"How else will we knock on the door, Ino-chan?" Ino motioned at the giant bars.

"But this gate.."

"Ino-chan, look." Hinata pointed to the gate knob. Small bells were tied to it. "It has no lock." Ino stared in bewilderment. Grabbing her hand, Hinata tugged the blond girl in before closing the gate, the tinkling of the bells sounding again. Akamaru already stood waiting at the door, tail thumping against the small wooden cart he was harnessed to. "Don't worry, they're kind people."

"Oh...kay."

Hinata raised her hand to the door, and knocked. Almost instantly there was a _bang_ on the other side as something collided with it. Ino shrieked. Akamaru woofed. Hinata covered her mouth.

There were scuttling sounds as the something tried to _claw through the door._ Noticing Hinata wasn't afraid, and Akamaru only seemed happier if his incessantly thumping tail meant anything, Ino stood her ground.

 _"Be right there!"_ A voice shouted from inside, followed by chuckling. " _Geez, Samehada. Calm down."_

The click of a lock sounded, and the door opened barely a crack. The same voice spoke up, now clearly deep and rough.

"Uhh, you have a dog right? Might wanna back up, Samehada's gonna come barreling out to play."

"Oh! Of course. Just a moment please, I need to unstrap Akamaru-kun." Bending down, Hinata took the cart harness off of the red-eared dog. Tugging the cart and Ino to the side, Hinata looked back at the door. "Okay!"

Not a second later a giant blue _blur_ tumbled into Akamaru and the two were off, dashing back and forth across the lawn in a game of tag.

* * *

Ino was shocked, to say the least. Hinata had been too preoccupied watching Akamaru and the large blue dog (pit bull?) playing to notice.

The dripping (so they had a pool, too? That was the only explanation she could think of for him to answer so quickly), topless man had to be well over six feet, but he had stepped out only to hurry back inside when he'd noticed her indigo-haired friend. He'd raised a finger to his grinning lips and winked at Ino to stay quiet.

He seemed friendly enough, really. And clearly he was thoughtful enough to go grab a shirt (she assumed, if that glimpse at Hinata had meant anything) for her friend's hopelessly virgin eyes. But Ino found herself quaking. Despite his smile (or because of it?), the man had looked utterly menacing.

She got a glimpse of stellar abs, impressive biceps, and gray-blue skin. Eyes like a shark and deadly, serrated teeth, not to mention the added gill-like tattoos on his cheeks and shoulders over his oddly colored skin, did not help Ino's irrational (no, very rational!) fear of him.

A small part of Ino, the flirty part, was saying that all oddities aside, the man was immensely attractive. But another part of her, the part that had taken over a week to get used to the strange men (Kiba- who looked and acted more wolf than boy, and Shino- who had an uncanny affinity for insects) that Hinata called her best friends, was telling her that the man who'd disappeared beyond the door was dangerous.

Ino had a wonderful talent at finding people's buttons. Chouji said she just had a problem with filtering her words from her thoughts. Shikamaru said she was just too spoiled for her own good. Personally, Ino knew she had a useful skill. No one could be depressed for long when she was around, because she'd drill their mind and make them crack, snapping out their held in tension. But the problem was that it was not so much skill, but merely a side effect of her own personality. Ino had as much control of her own mouth as she did of other people's reactions to her, which was none.

What if she said something insensitive, and he snapped? Ino was certain he wouldn't actually hurt her, not with Hinata around at least, but still. What if? Ino turned to look at her gentle friend. Speaking of Hinata, what was it with her friend and attracting questionably human characters?

Wait, no. That wasn't correct. This was Itachi's house.

"Good afternoon, Hinata-san."

Ino snapped her head back. The man had returned so soundlessly and quickly! That couldn't have been even a minute and there he stood, now in a sleeveless black turtleneck, rubbing his still dripping hair with a small hand towel. He'd even switched out his swim trunks for gray sweat pants. Hinata looked away from the energetic dogs.

"Ah! Good afternoon, Kisame-san! This is my friend. She wanted to greet you and cousin Itachi."

 _Demon... shark?_ Ino felt her left eye twitch. Her knees locked as the man turned a lethal grin to her, locking eyes once again.

"Nice to make your acquaintance. I'm Hoshigaki Kisame." He made no motion for a handshake, and Ino was glad for it. She felt herself shrink.

"H-hello... I'm Yamanaka Ino." She severely hoped she was smiling instead of grimacing.

"Yamanaka-san, then." His grin only lengthened before turning back to Hinata.

He pointed to the containers. "Itachi-san's not here right now, he left a few hours ago. But I'm assuming those are for me, Hinata-san. Unless Itachi-san lied to me about you being the antithesis of a cruel person."

Ino froze. _Itachi wasn't even here?!_

Hinata clapped her hands and smiled. "No. These are for you, Kisame-san!" His yellow, shark-like eyes seemed to light up, and Ino questioned her sanity.

"You're truly kind!"

He let the towel rest around his neck, before loading the large and undoubtedly heavy containers into his arms as if they were bags of marshmallows.

"Come in, make yourselves at home." He looked toward the romping dogs. Samehada had stopped to shake, spraying water onto Akamaru who proceeded to follow his example. "If you hadn't already noticed, Samehada's still wet since he just charged out of the pool the moment you opened the gate. So let's let them run around a little longer before I call him in for a proper brush down."

Ino wracked her brain for an escape. Hinata was fine here, Ino was not. Ino was going to say something and get herself-

"We didn't disturb you, did we?" Hinata looked contrite, stepping over the threshold.

-in trouble with this dangerous being who looked like he might've eaten a person or two once upon a time ago if not sometime-

"No no, we'd been in there an hour already. So don't worry about it." He set the containers down on an impressive kitchen island.

-recently. Ino would just have to practice patience, she was sure she could find out about Sasuke's big brother at another time. Maybe even-

"Ino-chan?" Hinata grabbed her wrist, intent on pulling Ino through the door. "Inside, Ino-chan."

-just ask Forehe- "Eh!" _No! Nononono please no. Hinata-chan you don't understand._

"Yamanaka-san. I believe your cellphone is ringing."

 _SAFE!_ "Ah, so it is!" Removing herself from Hinata's grip and pulling her phone from her back pocket, Ino checked the caller I.D. "Ah, it's my mom! If you'll excuse me for this.."

She lied.

Luckily, Shikamaru was a consummate genius and didn't even pause at the fact that she was talking to him as if he were her mother. That, or he was too lazy to bother questioning her and so only continued to tell her that she'd left her school bag behind again. _"Choji picked it_ _up for you, but he's busy prepping for a catering order right now and it's too troublesome for me to bring it to_ _you."_

"I'd already moved the marigolds to the back, mom."

 _"Did you know Haruno drew a pig in the back of your neurobiology textbook?"_

"Wuh-WHAT? Fine, I'll be home soon."

 _"..Whatever, see ya."_ He hung up, she continued talking for another moment.

"Hai, hai. Bye mom!" Pressing a random number on the keypad to let a beep be heard, Ino stowed her phone back to her back pocket. Pulling on what she hoped was a contrite expression, Ino looked back to Hinata.

It wasn't hard to act apologetic when the girl already looked like a blind bunny.

"Are you in trouble with your mom, Ino-chan?" With a tilt of her head and the smallest frown, Hinata really did look like an unhappy bunny, or puppy. Did bunnies tilt their heads like dogs?

"No, not really... I do have to get going though. Sorry, Hinata-chan." Ino glanced back to the large shark-like man, and found herself flinch just the tiniest bit.

His grin was screaming predatory, revealing his large, deadly teeth in all their glory. With a tilt of an eyebrow, his expression gave away that he knew very well that Ino was lying.

"Hoshi..gaki-san, I-it was nice meeting you!" _DON'T squeak Ino, don't squeak!_ "I apologize for not staying..."

"Don't mention it," he said. "I hope all goes well with your _mother,_ Yamanaka-san."

"Um...Thank you." With a final wave to Hinata, Ino back-pedaled to the front yard, dodged and pet a woofing Akamaru, glanced back at the huge blue pitt bull something who was now lounging in the sun, made sure to close the tinkling gate after herself, and dashed away.

* * *

...

Ya know, this was all supposed to be in Hinata's perspective. But Ino just kinda stole the spotlight, like she is wont to do.

Samehada is a blue adronicus. Look it up, they're gorgeous!

This could be a continued fic. It might not be. Who knows. _*shrug._ Do you **want** this to be a continued fic? Depending on feedback, I'll think to add to any of the plot bunnies I post.

 _I'm just shoving a plot bunny out of my head._

Love,

Saamon-sama


End file.
